Talkin Bout The Work Week
To be quite honest, it’s been a hard week.
Feels like I’ve been on a series of 10-12 hour work days, playing superwoman with my double life as artist/educator. During the day time, you can find me in overfilled classrooms and special education programs, trying my best to be a consistent mentor and ally for youth who truly need it. Sometimes, the best school supply a student can have is self-esteem. Trying to learn without it is like trying to work on an empty stomach.
Once the seventh period school bell rings, I transition into an after school teacher. Every moment of my two hour class I strive to inspire critical thinking through creative engagement and real imagination. Together, my students and I listen to hip hop, we make hip hop, we are hip hop.
Every other day, I dig into no-so-deep pockets to buy special healthy treats that will help the kids stay focused and on task. (It’s a shame that so many of them come into class hungry and tired. Maybe they don’t have full meals at home? Or even at school for that matter…)
The best signs that tell me we are making progress shine through in glimpses of a freedom song waiting to be born or a realization of one’s own power manifested in a confident smile.
After after school, you can find me running to a community event across the city or across the Bay to perform. Learning the ropes, getting acquainted with new studios, recording and songwriting fill up most all of my free time. (Not to mention riding public transportation has quickly become one of my main extracurricular activities.) Sometimes in this jumble of being a teacher/artist/muni-extraordinaire I no longer have time for cooking, mediating or just chillin the way a hard working girl should…
Yes, this has been a tiring week. Even with everyday filled with inspiration and uplifting experiences, I sometimes feel my powers and possibilities being stretched thin… Resourcefulness is a gift, survival can sometimes be an instinct… I feel so thankful to have these qualities—but I cannot live on the edge of no sleep, no budget, no time for self, no proper diet to eat and be expected to thrive.
An the truth is, teachers and artists are some of the most commonly exploited and overworked groups of people out there with such a powerful influence over our youth.
Feeling worn by more long days, weeks and months, I am coming to the realization that I need remember the basics. My balance is reached when I have a goodnights sleep, healthy quality nutrition in my belly, water to quench my thirst from being on my feet for 10 hour workdays… when I go for long runs in the park and take time to do absolutely nothing but breathe. When I am surrounded by people who show and reflect the love that I emit through my being.
I am given permission to grow by the grain of compassion that sprouts in almost any environment but most certainly springs forth faster with the nurturing power of love. I like to think ahead, but sometimes my best growth happens in the little moments that add up to a lifetime, the serendipity and spontaneity that give truth to the fact that my life is, indeed, improvised. Yes, I have responsibilities, but can still have fun like a kid. Not allowing the clouds of self-doubt, worry, regret and fear blind me from my own light…
I write all this more as a reminder to myself that I must give myself 100% so I can be 110%. After all, we’re not robots, we’re humans. Be good to yourself.
Teach. Learn. Live. Grow.
#RAPtivism
